Hey, its me again.
And its time for this weeks letters.
This is indeed one of my favorite days cause I get to be brutally honest about any and everything and I like that.
Most of you LOVE that too but clearly some of you HATE it.
Which brings me to the beginning of todays Letters!!
Dear Assholes Who Leave HATE Comments: Everyone has differing views, its what makes the world go round. The difference between you and me is that I understand that going to someones blog and leaving them hate mail is a waste of my time. They arent going to change their views by reading my measly comment. I know this is true because someone can leave comments all day on this blog explaining why they gave their dog away and why theyre a Democrat and I will still know they are WRONG. And Im completely okay with this. Do us all a favor and think BEFORE you comment. 99% of the time you would save yourself and the blog your reading a headache if youd just click the little red X instead of leaving bitchy comments.
Dear EBay: I seriously wanted to marry you last night! I have never in my life been more excited to win!! This ADORABLE lace dress is coming to Momma next week and I cant wait to get it on these new boobs! XOXO
Dear Steph: You are freakin TRIP! I spit my water all over my computer screen when I saw this on your blog! Funniest part, my coworker thought surely Raven had posted it! You girls are a trip! First knocked up and now post boob job. Photo skills like whoa!
Dear Everyone Who Thinks Im Moving To Dallas: I am NOT moving to Dallas. Christopher will be moving here at the beginning of the year! So keep guessing!!
Dear Francesca's: Im coming to see your hot ass during lunch today so please dont let me down! I saw all of your 50% off dresses online and I better find some in the store! Id also like to find some cute tops so Ill need your sale rack stocked around noon today! Thanks girl!
Dear Southern Ladies: THANK YOU FOR BEING SO DAMN NICE TO VISITORS!! I am honored to be from the South and I LOVE that people recognize our kind ways and Southern Hospitality when they meet us. I had the pleasure recently of experiencing the EXACT OPPOSITE and it really made my appreciate the way I was brought up. No matter where you live or where youre from you should ALWAYS be polite to your guests. Always.
Dear Tugger and Lilly: You kids are just TOO damn precious. I seriously cant get enough of you! And as NASTY AS F as this is to admit, I miss your stank breath little kisses when youre at your grandmommy and pawpaws!
P.S. Tugger: You are sick little fuck. Puking all over the living room floor last night after eating ice cubes seriously grossed me out. And to make it worse, I could feel your ice cold chucks through the paper towel which left me running for the restroom! You really know how to get me back for leaving you alone all day little guy!! If you werent so damn cute I might give you to a "no kill shelter". Ya who are we kidding, I have soul, you have a forever home!
Dear Dez Bryant: If youre going to keep wearing the 88 jersey Im going to need you to step your game up. Catch the damn ball and earn that damn paycheck. Mr. Irvin has to be ashamed of you for disgracing that number. So listen up, if you've got to sniff some coke to make the plays, Im okay with that, it worked for Irvin!
Dear Readers: I seriously LOVE you! Every single one of you! Especially the ones who comment and email me on the reg! I love the friendships we've built and I feel like we are IRL friends!! Thanks for rocking my socks lady! This place wouldnt be the same without you!! XOXO